You Need To Know What To Do If Someone Takes A Disliking To You!
Please be warned that this article isn’t overly long…but then it doesn’t need to be. It does, however, need to be written for all people who need encouragement when they are afraid that someone influential could potentially derail their career.
I have had it happen only once in my entire career – which is either 2 years full -time or 19 years in and around the industry, failing at this or that. When someone took an active and needless disliking to me, I immediately responded the way I am going to share with you.
This is a four step system that you have to get right…or else you could be stuck and out of profit for a very long time. In advance, I will apologize if I upset you…but I would rather help than enable you to remain dysfunctional.
Here goes. Buckle up real tight!
There are a lot of unhealthy, wonky people out there….so beware!
The very first thing you need to do is step back from whatever the situation is that you think you have encountered. Don’t respond. Don’t do ANYTHING. Don’t ask anyone else’s opinion. Just sit still, be quiet and watch everything. Carefully note your emotions…and even journal them so that you are clear on what you are feeling.
Pay attention to whether or not you are still performing activities that you normally do happily with the same joy. If you stop doing what you normally do, something is wrong. The challenge will be to figure out what the problem actually is. Watch the offending party carefully. See if they are ACTUALLY doing what you think they are doing.
Sometimes, we are wrong about others, and our own insecurity is what is hurting us the most. So…step back, slow down, and evaluate everything carefully. You could be right. You could be wrong. Take no, real action for 1-2 days…up to one, full month.
I give this time frame because it’s the longest (so far) that it’s taken me to put all the pieces together and get a grip on the person with whom I am dealing.
There are a LOT of unhealthy people in our industry. It’s easy to mask crazy with a lot of money. I hate to put it so bluntly, but it’s the TRUTH!
Step Two…MAKE YOUR MOVE!
Once you see the situation for what it is, if it actually is negative and you will be damaged eventually by this person…do one of two things. Either communicate gently and directly with the person or completely sever all ties.
There is no middle ground. Sorry.
The first option should be for people with whom you have a relationship worth salvaging. The second option is for people with whom you have no real relationship yet or with people who (based n all your available information) are not going to change, no matter what you do. Only you can tell who fits into which category – and you might be wrong in your assessment of whether or not this person can/will grow.
So…tread carefully…but make a decision with which you can be at peace.
You know the people who care for you.
Mistakes aside, love always leaves evidence!
Step Three…GET VERY STILL INSIDE…And Outside!
The third thing to do is to get quiet again. If you have just restored a valuable relationship, you will need time to sort your feelings.
My personal recommendation is to give yourself 5 working days to get back to normal emotionally. On the other hand, if you severed ties, it’s still advisable to remain quiet.
There will probably be all kinds of confusing thoughts going through your head. The LAST thing you want to do is do business in a state of emotional insecurity.
When you work, you need to be 100% present for the people who are looking to you for support. Because of how important our industry is to people needing financial solutions, you are REQUIRED to be clear and to be present!
Step Four…Forget The Past, Unless It Happens Again!
The last thing to do is to completely ignore the past and act as though nothing has happened. This is the essence of true forgiveness. Yu cannot hold someone emotionally hostage.
I am still learning how to do this, so don’t look at me as a model. I am a work in progress…but this IS the standard.
When you make a relational error, you want full forgiveness, so you MUST be willing to offer it, as well.
If there has been reconciliation, this is sometimes easier. Without reconciliation, you may still feel something negative towards the person. Let me just tell you that holding onto the past isn’t helpful.
So…this is how you let the past actually be the past; if the person offends AGAIN, you’ll need to repeat his process from the start. Most of us don’t learn the first time, myself included.
There IS a difference between immaturity and dysfunction. You’ll need to figure out that difference for your relationship.
If the offending person doesn’t offend again, you both need time to re-build what you thought you previously had. To hold onto the past doesn’t do anything for you at all…not for you and not for the offender.
To strengthen your stance, reach out to strong people who will love you back to health!
Extra Step For Those Who Happen To Be Offenders
This must be written: If YOU are the offender, seek help, make amends, and STOP being bad. The truth is that how you are hurts others, and you SUCK as a person right now!
This is the truth, and you will do well to look in the mirror. If you think that people cannot see the wrong you are doing, you are deceived.
It is only a matter of time before one or a few things happen.
You will either be shunned in the industry, you will lose valuable relationships, or you will end up in jail or sued. Sometimes, all three things happen.
There’s never a place where any of the three are good. Get a clue, and get it right! NOW. You do not want to risk dying as one of the bad guys.
Hell exists. 😉
That’s It. I Pray This Has Helped You
I pray that this article has been helpful to you. Broken relationships in the home business world are no good.
It means a lot to get them restored – if possible. If it’s not possible, at least you know now what to do. When someone who is influential dislikes you, it feels really bad.
You should recognize, however, that these are just people. They do not rule the day, and if you simply move on from here, there are many, many people in the world. One individual cannot derail your entire career.
If you have something of value to offer…offer it! The world WILL take notice. You can do this..and there ARE people who will stand by you for the sake of doing what is right!!
Stay healthy, and stay prosperous in all the ways that count! 🙂
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